If Only You Knew
by Forfun100
Summary: What if it had taken longer for Rhett to come home? What if Scarlett had her baby? What if? Well I'm almost positive it wouldn't happen this way but we'll see. This is how I imagined it.


Scarlett couldn't help the fact that she was alone! It can't be helped who she is, who she's not afraid to be! Bonnie was gone, Rhett was gone, and even that Prissy is gone. Truth be told in the eight months he was gone Scarlett felt something, she had pinned, could only be love. Love for her youngest child, soon to not be of course the baby was due in a month.

Even though she detested to say it, she missed her husband as well. Fiddle-dee-dee why did he have to go and make her fall for him? Why did he have to make marriage so fun? Why did he have to make love seem real? Why did he make her feel what she thought only Ashley could make her feel?

That was another thing Ashley damn him, damn him for all those year of making her love him! Of course he was married and of course she had to love him. Well until Rhett left her, She wanted Rhett now more than ever. She wanted him to love her like the night she conceived. She loved him more than anyone knew, she wanted him to know she was having his baby.

There were things in life she knew that no one else did. She knew how much she actually loved her children, she knew how much she valued Melanie's friendship, she knew that the only thing that matters on earth for a woman is how pretty and empty headed she is and how important it is to marry and once you are married how many babies you have! Oh it aggravated her so! She knew now why women wanted children so bad and she hated it!

She hated the idea of her being one of those women who wanted children! She became one of those woman! Oh how she had changed since the war had ended, how the world had changed and she didn't like it at all!

She also knew that she was in labor she had been in labor since early in the morning , and she knew that she wouldn't survive the birth of this child. She knew the pain that came to her was more severe than it had ever been with Wade, Ella, or Bonnie. But for once in her life Scarlett wanted to suffer more than anything!

She was in her bedroom looking out the window as her children played. Her children, Wade born out of spite, and Ella born out of greed and fear. Bonnie was born out of plain boredom, this would be the only child born out of love. At least the closest than the rest of the lot.

Pain struck her but she didn't flinch she didn't shift or even make a sound. She deserved pain, she deserved it all! She hated herself for ending up in this place of confinement! She blamed herself for making Rhett leave with Bonnie and through her pregnancy she learned how right she was! Everything she received she deserved for loving a married man, for marring Charles out of pure jealousy, for marring and essentially killing Frank, and for all her hatred of Melly a hatred that would die down as age came.

Oh Melly! The abuse Scarlett had put her through! Oh she deserved the pain of child labor! She deserved the end that was coming to her.

"Scarlett! Scarlett I'm coming up." Melly shouted up the stairs.

Melly had been so helpful to Scarlett during this time. Melly had visited her everyday bringing gossip and a loving smile. Melly was more of a sister to her than Suellen had ever been, Careen had never been the same after Brent had died of course but who could blame her. Melly had always loved Scarlett and now Scarlett had learned to love her back.

"Hello dear how are you?" She smiled closing the door behind her. Scarlett felt the pain again and again she did not react.

"Melly" Scarlett began, seeing Beau join her two children, " I'm sorry" It had taken her these past months to muster the courage to say these words.

"For what dear?" Melly sat next to her.

"Oh Melly! I've made a mess of things Rhett's gone, and I've never treated you like you've treated me! I'm sorry Melly I'm sorry for everything I've ever done to you!"

"Why Scarlett you should know that's not true. You've helped me more than I could ever repay you for. Why you helped me from the hardest times." She smiled sweetly in that way Scarlett used to hate.

"Melly you're just so good and kind and helpful to everyone! Never change Melly please, for me"

"Scarlett I won't I'm not changing any time soon."

"Melly promise me something?"

"Anything"

"Melly I won't make it through this birth and I know it-"

"Scarl-"

"Wait, Melly I won't so please if I have a girl name her after you, and if I have a boy name him Gerald. Raise my little girl to be just like you, make sure my sweet boy doesn't turn out like his father-"

"Now Scarlett-"

"I'm not finished. If Rhett ever comes back tell him I love him more than he could ever know. Melly I'm so sorry."

"Scarlett it's alright it's just you pregnancy talking. You're going to be fine, you would never have to apologize to me honey. Why don't we get you into bed?" Melly stood up and smiled down at Scarlett holding out her hand. Scarlett looked at Melly's hand.

"That's another thing Melly, I'm having the baby." Scarlett said looking up to Melly's eyes.

"Scarlett, are you sure?"

"Yes Melly." Melly took Scarlett's hand and led her to the bed.

"Now Scarlett I'm going to get Mammy to take the children to my house and find Dr. Meade." Melly hurried Scarlett to bed and ran out the door.

No one else knew it but at that exact moment no other than Rhett Butler was approaching the estate. Bonnie was bouncing in the seat next to him overjoyed at the thought of being home, returning to her mother, and her horse.

Mammy had already taken the children, but little Beau wouldn't leave unless his mother went with him. When they pulled up Rhett opened the door and Bonnie ran to her room. Rhett walked up the stairs he too was excited to be home. He had wanted to see that shrew of a wife, whom he loved. He as usual had made no effort to announce his arrival.

He reached the bedroom door, he chuckled to himself thinking about what had panned out in that room right before he left. He opened the door and his smile faded. Scarlett's face was flushed, her breathing was heavy, and her face was scrunched up in pain.

"Scarlett?"

She had apparently gone insane in the time he had been gone, "where's Rhett? I need Rhett." She shouted over and over even though he was right in the doorway.

Rhett stood still for a moment before he spoke up. "I'm right here Scarlett. No need to shout "

"Oh Rhett you came!" She said squinting her eyes, the bright mid day sun streamed through the closed curtains.

"Hello dear" He walked over to her bed and grasped her hand.

"Rhett you came, I thought I would have never seen you again."

"Don't exaggerate my dear, so are you glad to see me?"

"Oh Rhett you could never know. " She squeezed his hand as pain washed over her, as soon as Melly had left the pain got worse and more frequent. "Rhett, I never wanted you to go."

"Oh now that I don't believe you would have done something about it Scarlett that's just the kind of person you are."

"Come now Rhett, than you must not know me at all if that's what you believe." Scarlett smile through her pain " Rhett there are just something's you may never know about me."

"I would beg to differ madam, I have you figured out to the last note"

"Rhett you don't know how much I've missed you. You don't know the remorse I've felt, the loneliness. Oh Rhett if only you could know how I felt every morning. Knowing you weren't there, going through my days wonder about you and Bonnie, and falling asleep at night without you there. If only you could comprehend how much I love you even back when you left maybe I wouldn't be dying now."

"Don't strain yourself to compliment me Mrs. Butler. You're delusional from child birth." He dropped her hand and paced around the room. "You never loved me"

"Rhett if only you could know" She said in an almost dreamy voice, " If only you knew that I loved you, if only you could be inside my head and understand how I love you. If only you could hear what I'm telling you and believe it is true"

"You don't have an honest bone in your body Scarlett." He said in an intimidating fashion. "You've never loved anyone except for Ashley!"

"Oh Rhett if only you knew, if only" Scarlett gasped as pain flowed through her, "I wish you could only know what I really truly think. Then you would know that I love you! You would know how I felt waiting for you and Bonnie to come home."

"You're a damned liar you know it and I know it!"

"If only you could understand-"

"I understand perfectly my dear and I see that you don't at all!" He spat reaching a peak of anger. Hot blood boiled in his veins, for only she could lie to him so blatantly and believe it were true.

"Rhett!" She called out distressed. Agony and insanity snapped inside her, "Where are you Rhett!" Sweat had never seemed so gruesome.

"I'm right here Scarlett, I'm here" He ran to her side, startled by her sudden urgency.

"Rhett don't ever leave me again! Do you understand me Rhett Butler don't ever leave me again!" She sounded as if she was going to cry.

"I won't leave you Scarlett." He said calming himself. He started to wonder if she was actually being truthful or if it was an act to gain pity from him. Then again why would Scarlett O'Hara need pity from him. She had gotten his money when they married, and she never had a problem being her usual self around him.

"Rhett, I'm afraid to die" She squirmed in pain.

"Now Scarlett you're not going to die"

"Rhett I'm sorry, and now I'm sure you think I've gone mad but I am. I wish I had told you I loved you, I wish everyday that you could know that I've learned to love you. That I want to love you Rhett. Do you believe me?" She gasped as pain became more constant.

"Yes I believe you" He said simply smiling at the thought. Scarlett really did love him didn't she.

"Rhett! Rhett!" She cried out in pain

"I'm right here darling" He said as she screamed.

"Captain Butler," Rhett turned around and saw Melly standing at the doorway alone.

"Hello Mrs. Wilkes"

"I'm sorry but I'll have to ask you to leave, the doctor will be here soon"

"Of course." He dropped Scarlett's hand and walked out reluctantly.

"Melly?" Scarlett screamed.

"I'm here Scarlett, Dr. Meade is on his way." Melly calmed her. Scarlett's breath slowed.

"You're very kind Melly, incredibly kind." She said calmly before the pain came back. She cried out until Dr. Meade entered the room.

He had told her that the baby almost in the world and just like that she had another little boy. But the cruel pain pressed on.

"It won't stop!" She cried out and screamed.

Dr. Meade passed the new born to Mammy, he ran back to Scarlett and announced that there was another baby. Scarlett felt like her body was being torn apart. She screamed louder than she ever imagined she could.

"It's a girl" She heard Melly say as she rubbed Scarlett's arm. Scarlett knew what was next she knew she was going to die. She was just happy she had told Rhett she loved him and that she had apologized to Melly. Her eyes closed and she took her last painful breaths of hot air. Before letting the cold soothing hands of death take her.

* * *

Rhett was throwing brandy down his throat to calm his nerves. Listening the Scarlett scream was the hardest thing for him.

"Papa!" Bonnie ran in to the parlor in tears, "What's wrong with mother?"

"Bonnie it's alright" He brought Bonnie to his arms, "Soon you're going to have a brother or sister." Bonnie wiped her face.

"I have a brother and sister" She hiccoughed a bit.

"Yes but you'll have a little brother or sister." He said as the screams faded and soon fell to silence. "You see mothers fine." He said putting her on her feet. "Go play"

"But daddy I wanna see mother!"

"Alright then Bonnie you can wait here with me" He said kissing her cheek, and he realized he was beginning to feel excitement for the new baby.

About an hour had passed and Melly finally emerged from the bed room. "Melly!" Bonnie squealed and ran up to her.

"Hello Bonnie" Melanie picked her up.

"Papa says I'm going to have a brother or a sister!"

"You know what Bonnie you have a new brother AND a new sister."

"Twins!" Rhett said standing up. Melly shook her head and smiled.

"I wanna see mother" Bonnie squirmed.

"Um..." Melly's face fell, "Maybe later Bonnie."

"I wanna see mother!"

"Bonnie Why don't we get Mammy and you can ride your horse." Bonnie gasped at her father's words. Melly put her down and she ran off to the stables. Rhett smiled with glee and he turned to look at Melly who now look as if she were going to cry.

"Why so upset Mrs. Wilkes today is a great day. I have a son and a daughter."

"Oh Captain Butler." She began to cry, "It's Scarlett..."

"What happened to Scarlett?"

"She-She didn't make it" She choked out with tears streaming down her cheeks.

"No, No, No, No, No" He pushed her aside and ran into the room. Mammy had pulled up a chair and was sobbing over Scarlett's dead body. She looked up,

"Mister Butler Miss Scarlett She aint here no mo'. The lor' awlmighty done took miss Scarlett from us."

Rhett walked toward Scarlett he was dumbfounded, never in his wildest nightmares did he ever imagine Scarlett dead. He couldn't react at first, he just stared at her. Then he realized what had happened.

"God Damn you Scarlett wake up!" He lifted her up off the bed roughly " Wake up damn you! Wake up!"

"Captain Butler"

"Wake up damn you wake up!" Rhett then started to cry. He cried in front of Mammy, Melly, and Dr. Meade. He shook Scarlett's body as if trying to wake her up. He fell to his knees resting Scarlett's limp body on the bed. He laid his head into her breast and sobbed.

Melly stood at the door way frightened of Rhett, "Oh Lord please, please I'm begging you take good care of Scarlett. Take good care of my sister"

* * *

_So I realize I'm no award winning novelist but the idea just came to me. I read the book and saw the movie just fell in love with the whole concept. So sorry if I messed up the charactors, but this is what I think of in my spare time! Comment please! They are very much appreciated! Okay Bye!_


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